Days gone by . . .
This post is not going to be directly about Scotland.
Hannah recently posted a picture on her blog that really hit a nerve with me. It's a picture of me pushing the merry-go-round at buckhorn. I don't know why, maybe it's because I missed buckhorn this year, or maybe it's because this picture is such a complete representation of what buckhorn means to me, but it made me very nostalgic and a little sad. It was one of those moments when you make a sudden realization without meaning to. In my case, I suddenly realized that I'm grown up. I'm not a kid anymore. I still act like it sometimes, and still try to get away with it when I can, but I'm not the kid I used to be. I grew up playing on the merry-go-round every year, and when I got bigger I would push the younger kids just as an excuse to still play. Now I'm here in Scotland on one of the biggest adventures of my life and that merry-go-round has been taken down. I don't know how to explain it entirely, but I'm sure if you know me I don't really have to. It feels like the end of a very amazing part of my life. I'm sitting here wondering what buckhorn will be like next year. If I'll go. If I'll love it. If I'll be the same Quentin there that I have been every year since I was born.
My life is amazing right now and I am so proud of myself for everything I'm doing, but I'm going to miss being a kid.
posted by Q Schroe @ 8:40 PM
2 comments
2 Comments:
Q - your post made me feel nostalgic too. But life goes on and we move on to new adventures and highlights. I was always impressed by your times at Buckhorn, and how you mixed with the young, those your same age, and the older too. But especially how you did so well with the younger kids and how they looked up to you. So, even though you are grown up (but I agree that you're still a kid too!) you left a great impression and made a good mark on the people you interacted with. And that's a great thing about you.
Dad
1) did you mean to botch my last name?
2) That makes me hurt inside. Buckhorn was strange without you this year. I mean, obviously it was much the same, but it was still a little off-kilter. Thinking about you being gone and then wondering if you will return next year made me realize that Buckhorn will never feel the same. It has already lost that feeling it had when I was a really young kid, and even that feeling it had when I was, I don't know, let's say 11-14. Assuming I still go to Buckhorn during my college years, I know it won't feel the same. And even more worrysome than that is how Buckhorn will feel when I'm even older, and possibly, have a family of my own. (The enthememe is of course, that Buckhorn will be a surviving tradtion in our congregation.) Bah. It's just hard to think about and hard to accept.
-Hannah
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